Letter to my 29 year old self. RAMBLINGS.

Its March 2017. Two months to go until that milestone. Yup i knew this year was looming, the dreaded 29+1, thirties, dirty thirties, flirty thirties, and supposedly (and to be fair, always proven to be) ‘THE BEST YEARS OF YOUR LIFE.’ However you want to call it, its still a seriously huge transition to any female right? And if you’re anything like me with that Peter Pan attitude and ethos to life, then its only a daunting turning point because of what society makes you believe you should be doing at this age! Is it time that i grew up, or is it time to go even wilder than i have been doing throughout my entire twenties? I have never lost that inner child spark, i have an extremely playful mindset, i trust EVERYBODY (always my downfall) i do believe in Faeries and i use Alice in Wonderland as my guidance on a daily basis (she just makes, ALL THE SENSE). I guess i wanted to write this to my 29 year old self right now, to firstly say congratulations you’re officially getting old, but secondly, to tell you that there are some people in this world who live to work, and the fact you have chosen to work to live life to its fullest, and take each day as it comes, is an achievement itself, and i would have wrote that to all the other younger me’s too. I know the impending 3-0 is cause for anxiety even in the most assured and confident person, so im writing this to overthrow that, and change the mindset of thinking you should have everything figured out by now, to that of actually…you are probably, right where you need to be.
Aged 25 bright eyed and bushy tailed (yer right) after that break up, i moved to Dubai to work for the Airline i have blogged mostly about. Its almost 5 years on and yes i am still here and still enjoying it as though it was the first day i started. I will never stay somewhere that makes me unhappy, or be with someone for that matter that makes me unhappy either. Its not how i roll. Who even would? I still get excited when i touch down in a new country, city, continent, or revisit the same one for the millionth time. I have developed creativity in my thoughts and dreams, my skills, passions and ideas by travelling to pretty much every crevice of this earth and THATS the blessing i have received whilst being here doing this sometimes easy, sometimes outrageously hard and tiring job. I havent saved, A PENNY. The best money you can spend surely is travel experiences? And for that i have zero regrets (although i do have one desriable wardrobe, i could probably set sail around the world and back on my own boat with the amount of jackets i own..) I quite simply live for today, because tomorrow isnt promised. A little deep, but in recent months i have learnt the ultimate truth in this statement.
I loved every second of my twenties, (i know i know, i still have two months left! I just have to write this to get USED TO THAT), but would i return back to the mindset of my 22 year old self? Insecure with my body (to the point of early signs eating disorders) unsure of my path, surviving on cornflakes & having a kind of immature outlook and response (in hindsight) on almost, everything. Not a chance. It was some of the best years of my life yes, and i harbour the most magic memories from this ‘era’. I worked in ibiza for the majority of my early years where time, money, professions and bank balances beared no meaning to my world. I changed so much between then and the age of 25 when i moved to the UAE. And whilst i have been here i feel i completely evolved again and grew in to the persona that i rather like now. I feel i really found my footing during the last few years, in terms of everything. Style, personality, my inner voice, what i like and what i dont, and who i want to surround myself with and also sifting through those who no longer bear any goodness or positive atributes to my life. Real people have less friends right? I do have a lot of good friends, best friends, aquantainces, party buddys, partners in crime, travel buddys…in so many different places, i love new faces and could literally chat the ear off anybody willing to listen…but ive truly met some seriously special people who i know who were simply put in my path to bring only good intentions and shape the person i am today. Ive kind of come to that time in my life though now where the close kint of friends i do have, i know will remain my most loyal until we are old and grey, and cackling about our heyday.
Should i be freaking out right now that im not married (not even remotely close) and the only aisle im currently walking (strutting, twirling….whichever mood im in) is the aisle on the Boeing 777. Absolutely not. The majority of my school friends married off years ago, with kids already in their high school year. Me and my girls? We just live in a different world to that, living our lives fiercely independent, with no man required to validate our worth or conforming to what society thinks we should be doing. A partner (in crime) is merely the icing on the cake, its not the pinacle of our life, ‘ONLY DUST SETTLES BABY’. Travel travel travel, spend time with family, love yourself and cartwheel after those dreams because THATS what im going to be doing with my 30 year old self. This all sounds incredibly cheesy (i am pretty good at doing that) but its true. After hitting a wall over the last few months and spending some time in a dark place, it has royally given me that kick up the ass to love life, appreciate every single day, forgive and just LET GO, to not care what other people think you should be doing AND TO NOT GIVE TWO FLYING HOOTS ABOUT TURNING THIRTY.
BRING
IT
ON.