I feel that since I started this blog I’ve been pretty honest and open to many of my personal ongoings [and all those mishaps] since day one so I guess I can’t really go wrong with laying my heart on the line [online] with this one…
Firstly, i would like to note that i haven’t actually lived any single years since i was fresh faced and innocent [i see those eyes rolling] way back when, in my 6th form college heyday. Actually, i also had a ‘boyfriend’ in my last year of school, a shady character with a penchant for leather jackets so bad that everybody nicknamed him the Fonz [oh boy.] I collected tokens from our weekly cinema dates as well as calories as the majority of our 16 years of age dates involved feasting at the our local Indian and playing footsie with each other underneath the table whilst scoffing popadoms. Oh the joys of adolescence.
Up next was a bittersweet love affair with a rather wayward character i met in in my first year of University. The one who introduced me to the wilder side of life. Getting our disco dancing rave on [why does that sentence make me sound like a grandma ^] at every single opportunity, throwing our hands around like we were dancing to the music next door without a care in the world [or lecture the next day]. How times change [okay, they really havent changed at all, i just wrote that to make myself feel better. I am still doing just that, at any given opportunity !!)] Tempestuous and futile, the petty squabbling and quarrels drew this whirlwind to an untimely end. Upon hindsight reflection, simply- not the right match. Our disputes would wake pretty much everybody in the building, including the caretaker Jim who was deaf in one ear…but this relationship being the first serious one that i had, when it ended in spectacular fashion, so began this roller coaster of love. I’m not going to list every romance I’ve had in this post there’s only so much of my personal ramblings I can tap on about and honestly? I’ve actually only ever met the most wonderful guys, truly. They really shaped me by experience to become the person I am right now so despite all the love yet all the dramas, I thank them, for that!
Enter the next. I always rolled my eyes at the poets, the romantics and the dreamers when they harped on about love at first sight. But as with anything, when it happens to you, you forever want to preach it to the rest of the world from then on, and especially to those who are so cynical about love, and because of this its something i have never, and will never be. IT HAPPENS. It happened to me, and i had an 18 month rollercoaster ride of magical chaos, the highs and lows, and everything in between. Expectations for anybody to follow were set so high i almost curse the day i met this one, because really, nothing nor nobody can really compare with that feeling. They have to be pretty fucking special. Well, that was until it all went wrong. I don’t need to spare the details again [and it certainly doesn’t need the airtime now]. However, unbeknown to that person, he inspired me to write this blog in the first place and to change my life. And to do what i always wanted to do, which was to live as freely as i could, to travel, and to learn and enrich my life with different cultures, people, countries and experiences.
I digress, as per usual, with this ‘oh look, theres a butterfly’ ethos to life coupled with the attention span of a five year old. I think the point of me writing this was to start waffling on about how fabulously addictive the life of being a flight attendant can be, but how you need to take that back seat on that thing called love, until the time and person, is right, BUT [massive but right there] to enjoy every second and every single encounter along the way. And LEARN.
Since working as cabin crew, with quite literally the world at our fingertips, the best aspect of our job is meeting people in every crevice of the world. And subsequently, able to travel, adventure, and go on some wild esque journey ANYWHERE. Its not quite the norm girl meets boy, falls in love & gets married scenario with us lot in this category, far from it. We are not all seeking out Mr Prince Charming to come and sweep us off our feet, as much as I am a self proclaimed Disney fan, i am a) definitely no Sleeping Beauty and b) i certainly dont need any Prince in any way shape or form to complete my life. I do believe however, that the people who cross your path, have been put there for a divine reason, and those chance meetings are definitely no accident. Without getting all spiritual on here [saving that one for another post another time] I’m a firm believer in the cliché that everything happens for a reason. IT DOES. Tried and royally tested.
Let’s briefly touch upon the Tinder phase. I tried it, I swiped it, and yes for some time it gave me a serious ego boost at all those ‘matches’ I would wake up to. Until I accidentally matched with a 40 year old male whose profile picture was his grinning self with a lobster proudly placed ON HIS BALD HEAD. Can you really scrutinise someone purely on the way they look on their profile picture though? Despite being too old for my liking anyway, perhaps that guy was kind, open minded, funny & everything I’ve ever wanted my love to be. Hmm. Safe to say he got a left swiping in to next week. I had zero intention of meeting anybody I ‘matched’ with on this app, I played on it for pure amusement and I guess a little bit of a confidence boost at the same time. I also used it to practise my French whenever I was in the country, matching with any Pierre or Jean Paul I could find to waffle on in my almost perfect [absolutely not] ‘Frenglish’, before eventually deleting the app and resuming back to life before the swipe.
I’ve actually travelled to the furthest place we fly to as crew, because of falling for that somebody riding on my wavelength. Over the hills [North Pole] and far FAR away to San Francisco. A gruelling 17 hour flight, but a joyful 48 hours to adventure, to party, to make like a local with my new found travel buddy. Upon meeting this one, in a flipping fairy pond at a music festival deep within the Californian mountains [yep, no normal stories here!] I already knew this had an an expiration date, especially considering that erm slight long distance thing. But it didn’t stop me from going along with the journey with this quirky soul also seeking that fun side to life to. We don’t all have to meet someone and that’s it, because you’re nearly 30 you’re going to end up married 2.4 children style. AGE IS BUT A NUMBER FOLKS.
I’ve had some highs, and some dating woes. And oh how those woes changed me [eventually] for the better. The cowardly wimps who couldn’t give you an explanation for never texting you back and disappearing out of your life as quickly as they flurried [full on frog marched themselves] in to it? I actually salute you. In the period that followed such a baffling time [its happened to us all I’m sure!] I realised what a fucking good catch I am. I began to understand that some people simply cannot handle the magic that oozes out of your veins and overflows on to the world around you! It’s that simple. Evidently you, Mr Disappearing Act, were NO match, for that. Rejection isn’t scary when you realise the universe sifted out the riff raff on your behalf. It also isn’t scary when you know you’re a good person, with good intentions, and have the world at your fingertips right there to LEARN about. So who really gives two flying hoots about a ‘proper’ wally of a guy like that.
I’ve been sitting up until 4am most nights, sometimes I don’t even sleep…watching documentaries, reading books, learning about everything from spirituality to the metaphorsisis of a flipping butterfly. Until I meet that person who is as intrigued by the world as I am, with the ability and knowledge to teach me things that I don’t know yet, to enlighten and enrich my life for the better then yeah, you know what? I’m pretty good living in and out of my suitcase for now..
Where to next?
‘The universe sifted out the riff raff on your behalf’ my absolute favourite line. Amazing! I love this 💜
This is so inspirational and I feel like I sit sometimes and say to myself WHEN ….. but reading this and knowing im not alone and there is so much more to life than asking that question, enjoy the right now! Im going to follow your words for sure, keep them coming 🦋