For as long as i can remember i have yearned to live near to the beach, with that postcard perfect palm tree lined promenade, an ocean as blue as the sky above it and able to soak my feet in sandy stretched shores..la la la you get the idea. Now since living in Dubai for almost 5 years, the craving to nestle my feet in freshly cut grass has never been so rife! It got me thinking, why oh why do we always want what we DON’T have , can’t have?! I guess thats my rambling thoughts for todays post. Not that i am unappreciative of the things i am fortunate to have in my life, but i am also a little guilty to this feeling every now and then…as i am sure most of us are.
The rose tinted view of life. Or as the French, in particular those ‘parfait’ Parisians coin the term ‘La Vie En Rose’ ultimately meaning LIFE IN PINK. (and basically its just not, is it?) Yep, those perfectly squared and heavily filtered instagram images (culprit right here) the meticulously typed and thought out facebook statuses [edited numerous time for ultimate perfection, you do know we can see that people?] and those over the top, orchestrated romantic gestures you see come every Valentine’s Day. I feel that the 21st century way of sharing our life has played a heavy part in creating this every now and again feeling that we are missing out on something that we don’t currently have, and comparing ourselves to the perfectly seemed lives of others.
The human mind severely baffles me. Im sure there is a million and one scientific reasons behind this behaviour and obviously i am no psychologist here nor trying to pretend to be one, but it has always had me wondering. When that guy you were not that fussed about in the first place suddenly loses interest, you find yourself weirdly drawn to them (GOD KNOWS WHY), as a child when you were told you couldnt have that toy you only gave two seconds of your attention to anyway, suddenly you have this desirable urge that you need, MUST HAVE it in your life. Despite this, on the other hand this type of behaviour can also work in our favour too, when somebody hurts you, lets you down or squashes your dreams, it suddenly gives you this superhuman willpower and determintation to do everything in your power to better yourself and make sure you achieve that dream and attain what you want out of life. Which is how i have kind of ended up on the path i am on right now. Everybody needs a gentle push every now and again, or in my case a karate flipping kick in to next Tuesday. However it comes, when it does you feel a sense of f*ck you to those who said you “can’t have this”.
I guess with my line of work, I can get carried away sometimes with the feeling of missing out on some aspects of life I know I wouldn’t probably miss if I had it right there in my hands. I remember looking out at my office window at the dreary mancuncian weather [does the sun EVER shine there seriously?] tapping away at the keyboard sending emails I couldn’t care less about [only those 5 paged hourly emails sent to my friends were worth going to work for!] and thinking I don’t want this life, I’m not made for a 9-5 office job. Which I well and truly am not. Always arriving at 9.10 despite living a five minute walk away, and trying to charm my boss with fluttery eyes to allow me to stay until 5.10 to make up for it. Zero conforming to the office workplace for me. However when I finally got my job with the Airline, where routine has no meaning and every work shift is with 28 new faces from different counties [which can sometimes prove a beautiful mix, or your worst nightmare] yes, I sometimes wished I worked in my little office of familiarity! And whilst us expats living in Dubai get to bathe in beautiful joyous weather all year round we only have to survive 3 months out of that in which the temperature reaches 50 degrees and it’s almost impossible to stay outside longer than a few minutes of the day. It is only then we get those pangs of jealously at everyone lapping up the British summer weather of picnics, beer gardens and after work drinks. Wanting what we don’t have, even though we have the best of it, most times. Baffled!
I am now taking the motion forward of learning to appreciate what I do have, not most of the time, ALL of the time. That’s the latest kick up the ass I’ve received anyway. It’s also time to start comparing myself to others, feeling as though I am missing out on doing something, because ‘they’ are doing it already. I love this quote from one of my favourite books, ‘Big Magic’ [a must read for those creative souls by the way..]
“It might have been done before, but it hasn’t been done by you!” – Elizabeth Gilbert