Reflecting (emotional ramblings.)

Wow. Where to start. Since writing my last post about moving out of my flat in Manchester. I have officially left my job, ended up going to Ibiza (which was a suprise!), had another incredible trip to the island, and i have just had the most beautiful little send off back at home with my family. It was just perfect. My dad did a toast for me, and he simply said that im “off on a magic carpet ride for the next three years”. I really couldnt have put it better myself. I have to say thank you on here to my mum and dad for making so much effort for me today.

Oh and its only 11 days and counting until the magic carpet take off.

Aaaargh!! I cant describe how content i feel right now. I admit i really do hate the hand over face cringey ‘Im-s0-happy-i-need-to-broadcast-this-to-everyone’ statuses you see all over the internet. But sometimes u have to write down how u feel. One year ago, my whole world crumbled down around me (okay yes- i am about to unleash my inner drama queen on you all. Cue rolling eyes. I can see you!). I know it might sound dramatic, ridiculous- and to some- pathetic. But it is true. I cannot tell you enough how heartbroken and i was last year, how sad i felt. To have your heart broken is devastating enough, but to be treated the way i was at the end, and in such a cruel and callous manner by someone you ‘used to know’. It was just utterly disgusting. When things like this happen, it really does take time (a lot of it) and healing to completely get over it. I am only human for gods sake.

This is why all of this is so important and means so much to me! Because i cannot believe that when i close my eyes and picture that girl one year ago- it pains me to even revisit the memory to be honest. But i never thought in million years i would be where i am now. Ask anyone i know, i mean they have had to listen to me harp on about this all year, they know how hurt i was- and they know how much this means to me. To me, it’s the biggest thing i have ever done in my life and i couldn’t be more happier and proud to be where i am right now.

They say that everyone crosses your path for a reason. They also say (i always want to know who the bloody hell ‘they’ are. Can anyone answer this? Maybe i will be described as ‘they’ if i broadcast some wise words! Okay. Anyway. I digress- back to the point). THEY SAY that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. And the most important ones are the ones that bring out the best in you.

“Those are the ones worth keeping around”

True words. Nicely said- ”they”.

I feel so grateful for the most amazing network of people i have in my life. I am lucky to have real life superheroes for parents. And the best group of friends and family anyone could ask for- what a wacky, weird and wonderful bunch you are! (If your reading this, you guys knoww which category you fall in to!). And also- a special friend. The very best kind of special friend you could ever want in your life. The kind that really does put the smile back on your face. And oh yes! The kind that BRINGS THE BEST OUT IN YOU. (All inter-linked). Anyway enough cheddar cheesyness. I have put it out there now. Don’t get me wrong, I am not begrudging all the people i have met in the past. Each has taught me huge lessons in different ways. Trust me.

But i think right now, its safe to say- LESSON LEARNT. And that you always bounce back.

Last night, I was going through what can only be described as absolute crap that i have accumulated over the years. Phone bills dated 3 years ago (i think i have a phobia to opening envelopes), old bills from flats i can’t even remember living at- and payslips from jobs i can’t believe i ever did (i.e the cleaning job i took on at school when i was 15 with my friends! YES HIGH SCHOOL! I admit- we only had to hoover, and there was no toilets to attend to thank god). Anyway, beneath all of this junk i found this note- i really dont know how it got to the bottom of the pile! But it was written one year ago- by my friend Pav. How strange, that just as all these feelings are so rife right now about how my feelings now compared to 12 months ago.  I then go and find this note.

Well Pav. You were right. Things really did get better.

Enough said



One thought on “Reflecting (emotional ramblings.)

  1. All the old adages, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger etc etc. they really are true. I always try and see the positive in even the most trying of situations. Always something to learn along this crazy path of life we live and love xxxx

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